Book Club : Sanctuaries of Childhood Chapter Two

Today I will be summarizing and discussing the second chapter of Shea Darian’s book, Sanctuaries of Childhood: Nurturing a Child’s Spiritual Life. The book is written for parents or caregivers who are looking for inspirational ideas on how to nurture spirituality (non-denominational and all-encompassing) within themselves and their children. I will share a chapter summary each week and would love you to join in with your reflections in the comments section.

Chapter Two World of Dreams : The Sanctuary of Sleep

• sleep is sacred
• we are entering a world where we can connect with our greater selves again
• sleep heals the earthly wounds we acquire through the day (however small)
• saying goodnight to our children requires a “letting go” from us – we are allowing their souls to return “home”
• this is an act of acknowledging they are not ours alone

Nurturing Children in the Sanctuary of Sleep

• sleep can be a frightening or difficult transition for some children (and adults)
• there is some truth in the saying that sleep is the brother of death: in order to leave earth we must “die a little death” p. 36
• bedtime rituals help our children feel safe in their journey to this other world
• prayers and songs that embrace courage and strength are good choices

Settling Into the Evening

• we need to start the slowing down for the evening quote early
• try to make the time after dinner just for family connection
• turn off screens, centre ourselves at this time

How Much is Enough?

• Dr Richard Fried an M.D. Gave the following guidelines at the Magical Years Conference (including day sleeps)
• 8 mo-18mo – 15 hours, 18-4 years mo- 14 hours, 4-6 years- 12 hours, 7-10years- 11-12 hours, 10-11 years- 10 hours, 12-13 years- 9 hours, 14 and up- 8 hours
• it’s easy to miss the window of opportunity to get a child to sleep on time. Like adults, children can get a “second wind”.
• quiet time and rest time for younger children helps to ease their body and mind and also potentially facilitate a small nap
• sleeping areas should be warm, dark, comfortable
•  bedtime rituals such as songs, prayers, lavender oil, balms or massages all create a state of relaxation and calm

Blessings to Create a Sanctuary of Sleep

• Advice to spend quality time together in the hours before sleep- talking, reading, connecting by candlelight gaze into each other’s eyes and recite blessings or verses to one another
• Enjoy a moment of touch before bed- therapeutic massages
• Call on Angels or Protectors to watch over us while we sleep
• For teenagers a nighttime journal with pre-written prompts (such as “Something I am struggling with” or “A problem I’m having” etc.) may be helpful
• Say a blessing before bed that depicts your child full of “wisdom, love and the intention of serving others” She mentions a beautiful blessing here
• Adults read through or mediate on your personal visions- the realities you wish to create in your life. This is also a good time to meditate or pray/ask for help from a higher source

This chapter was a good reminder that the stronger our Evening Rhythm is the easier the transition is towards sleep. It also highlighted to me the importance of empathizing with my young children- sleep is something that can actually be scary if we are not very good at ‘letting go’. I know from our own experience that in times of angst where bedtime has become more of a struggle that therapeutic touch has been a great help, especially with soothing essential oils such as lavender and chamomile. What insights did you gain from this chapter? Do you have any special rituals you’d like to share?

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“Quotes from Sanctuaries of Childhood by Shea Darian used by permission. Copyright 2011 by Charlene DeShea Bagbey Darian. Revised 2nd Edition.”