It’s Okay

This post was originally published at This Whole Family in December 2013. It is now June 2017 and the daughter I refer to in this post is now sleeping through the night in her own bed everyday (except for an occasional nightmare)- she just turned four. Our youngest is just over two and still comes into our bed from hers everynight between the hours of 11pm and 2am. And you know what, It’s still, Okay.

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The transition from two to three children has been much easier for me than from one to two. I have confidence and experience, I’ve cast aside any preconceived ideas of what babies should and shouldn’t be doing and am finally mothering with pride and unapologetic devotion.

My little one is nowhere near ‘sleeping through the night’. Sometimes she’ll sleep a 6-hour block but most of the time she essentially wakes three-hourly from the moment I put her down until she wakes up the next morning.

And do you know what dear Mama? It’s Okay.

It’s Okay.

Because she needs me.

It’s Okay.

Because she is a fully breastfed baby (who has only had a touch of fruit and bone broth thus far). Because she’s hungry and she’s thirsty. Don’t most of us sleep with a glass of water beside our beds?

It’s Okay.

Because I know this too will pass. Oh my, will this pass- faster than I’d really like. So, so soon those tiny hands, those pudgy cheeks and that soft downy hair will grow to be the strong hands, rosy cheeks and thick hair of a child’s. A toddler’s, then a little girl’s and not too far in the distant future, a woman’s.

It’s Okay.

Because no, she will never remember my sweet milk or the midnight warmth I provide, but she will always know that there is sweet comfort and warmth in my love.

It’s Okay.

Because I’m not sick. Because I’m happy. Because in the morning I can still give the rest of my family what they need from me and have just a bit left over for myself. Because, yes of course, I am tired, but to give is to get. 

It’s Okay.

Because I am her mother.

And this is my work.